On defining personal style, dressing with intention, and the three words I chose for myself.
You might or might not have heard about the Three-Word Method in fashion and how defining our style in three words can potentially help us find our true personal style. I heard this concept repeatedly on different podcasts and from many different creators talking about their own fashion sense and describing their style using the Three-Word Method. Only recently, I listened to another podcast with Allison Bornstein, the stylist the method is attributed to, and discovered that this was actually a method she created to help people better understand their personal style.
I loved the idea of having three words, only three, to describe your personal style because, personally, this is something I have been working on for a long time. Throughout my 20s, it took me some time to find and describe what my personal style actually was, something I felt deeply myself in and comfortable wearing. I constantly felt influenced by all the noise and different voices on social media, or whatever was trending at the moment, often blindly following what my friends and the people around me were wearing.
More people than we might think have trouble describing their personal style or figuring out what to wear because our sense of style can constantly shift with the passing trends we see on social media. It is something I have heard a lot of my friends and people around me talk about, as they are still trying to figure out what actually feels like them. I think this creates a sort of fashion fatigue and confusion around how we really want to dress, as we start to think we should be everyone at once and embrace every style at the same time.
We often simply wear clothes that we like on other people or that we see other people wearing, without being intentional about the way we actually want to feel when we dress ourselves. This also often results in spending so much money on things we don’t really need or, eventually, don’t even want. Learning how to dress myself and find my personal style has been such an incredible journey. I finally don’t feel the need to hop from one style to another and never feel quite right. There is something that feels so good about knowing your style and feeling like yourself in your clothes.
Personal style is actually more difficult to find than someone might think, especially in our generation, when we are constantly exposed to mini trends, endless advertisements and influencers. There is always something new being presented to us as something we should want, buy or wear, which can easily distract us from what we actually feel like ourselves in. This is why, when I first heard about the Three-Word Method, I loved how simple it made the idea of defining personal style.
The method was created by New York-based stylist Allison Bornstein and involves choosing three distinct adjectives that, when combined, represent your personal style. These three words can become a guide for your style and help you create a more cohesive wardrobe that goes beyond trends and passing influences in fashion.
The Three Words
For Bornstein, one of the three words should be your practical word, meaning that you should start by looking at your most-worn clothes and thinking about why you get dressed the way you do every day. For instance, what is a common pattern you are able to observe among the clothes you wear on a daily basis? Maybe you are more drawn to comfortable clothes, or maybe you tend toward something more classic and timeless.
I thought a lot about my word for this. Every morning when I wake up and it is time to get dressed, I tend to look for classic pieces: blazers, loafers or long dresses. I also always want to look put-together, even if I am simply going for a walk in the park. This is why I initially leaned toward something like polished or refined, although classic is another word that I think describes a large part of what I actually wear.
The second adjective should be your aspirational word, meaning a word that represents what you want your ideal style to look like. I like to think of this one as how my higher or future self wants to look and dress. It is a little bit more abstract, but it is probably the most important part of the method for me personally because this is what can influence my future choices and allow me to get closer to the version of myself I want to become.
It can also be helpful to look at people whose style you admire and think about what it is about their style that you are particularly drawn to. For me, this word is chic. I look at the people I follow on Instagram or the pictures I have saved on Pinterest, and there is a certain level of chicness that I always seem to strive for and that I am extremely attracted to.
The third word should be an emotional word, meaning that it should communicate how you want to feel when you are dressed in your outfit. I think this part is fundamental, and for me it really connects with the concept of enclothed cognition that I explored in another article. Research around enclothed cognition has found that the way we dress and the clothes we wear can actually influence our mood, behavior and even our confidence.
Maybe you want to feel empowered when you get dressed, or joyful, or something completely different. I think, for me, this is the part that shifts the most when I think about my own Three-Word Method. I initially thought my word would be elegant, although I also find myself somewhere between sophisticated and luxurious. When I get dressed, I want to feel a certain level of elegance and luxury in what I am wearing.
How I Use My Three Words
For me, it is really about consistency. This simple formula helps me filter out some of the noise coming from the fashion world. Before buying something, I often ask myself how that item actually reflects my personal style and whether it fits with the words I use as an anchor. I also think these words can be a very clear way to communicate your style when you are shopping and need to find a dress or a specific item for an occasion.
Something that has helped me a lot is creating Pinterest boards while keeping these words in mind and using them as a constant reference when I don’t know how to dress for work or for a specific occasion. Pinterest is such a good visualization tool for me because sometimes I find it much easier to understand what I am drawn to through images rather than words. I keep going back to my Pinterest boards, where I save pictures that reflect the style I am trying to create for myself. When I look at all these images together, I also start to notice recurring elements: similar colors, fabrics, accessories or simply a certain way of putting an outfit together. In a way, the three words give me something to look for, while Pinterest helps me visualize what those words actually look like for me.
I really love looking at personal style through the lens of the Three-Word Method. I think it is simple and straight to the point. In the past few years, anchoring myself with a few key words has really helped give me a north star that allows me to stay true to who I am, but also to the person I want to become and embody in the future.
I also believe that my three words can change somewhat depending on the season because my clothes are quite different throughout the year. For instance, I add much more color during spring and summer, and I definitely think one of the ways I want to feel during those months is more joyful and colorful, while in winter my words might be slightly different. I don’t like having something super rigid, and even if my style is slightly different throughout the seasons, I think the core of the words can still remain the same.
After thinking about my own three words, I was curious to see what an online Three-Word Method quiz would give me. Interestingly, the results weren’t completely different from my own assumptions.
My Own Selection
POLISHED — CHIC — ELEGANT
Practical · Aspirational · Emotional
My Quiz Result
CLASSIC — SOPHISTICATED — POLISHED
Practical · Aspirational · Emotional
The quiz originally presented my results as Classic — Polished — Sophisticated, with Classic representing my everyday reality, Polished my emotional mood and Sophisticated my future aspiration.
Even though the words were not exactly the same, they were very much in the same world. Classic is a word I had already considered when thinking about the clothes I actually wear, while polished was already part of my own selection. Sophisticated is also very close to the kind of style I am drawn to, even though I personally still feel more connected to the word chic when I think about where I want my style to go.
If you are curious about your own three words, you can also try the Three-Word Method Quiz from My True Style.